I went through his remarks and pulled out the lines you need to see. They’re below.
1. “Happy Labors — Labor Day.”
2. “As you probably see, the numbers are terrific. So we called some people, wished them a very happy Labor Day. And they told us how they’re doing.”
What numbers? What people? How are they doing?
3. “The unemployment rate plunged, really to the surprise of many, all the way down to 8 — 8.4% in August. And that’s the second-largest single-month decline on record. And we have the first; we have both of them. So we have the two number one declines. Decline meaning positive, not negative.”
4. “We have a V shape; it’s probably a super V.”
5. “Under Operation Warp Speed, we’ve pioneered groundbreaking therapies, reducing the fatality rate 85% since April.”
6. “This could’ve taken two or three years, and instead it’s going to be — going to be done in a very short period of time; could even have it during the month of October.”
Trump is floating the idea of a vaccine being ready “during the month of October.” Put a pin in this. We’ll come back to it later.
7. “Joe Biden, the radical socialist Democrats would immediately collapse the economy. If they got in, they would collapse it. You’ll have a crash the likes of which you’ve never seen before.”
Overstatement, thy name is Donald Trump.
8. “Biden’s also pledged to demolish the US energy industry and implement the same policies causing blackouts in California. He wants to have things lit up with wind.”
“He wants to have things lit up with wind.” — The President of the United States
9. “So we’re setting records in jobs, we’re setting records in numbers. And you’re going to see some very big numbers.”
So you say we are setting records in “numbers,” eh? Tell me more…
10. “Biden wants to surrender our country to the virus, he wants to surrender our families to the violent left-wing mob, and he wants to surrender our jobs to China — our jobs and our economic well-being.”
He does? How have I not heard about this before????
11. “Our farmers wouldn’t be existent right now. Right now, they’re very happy.”
12. “We’re way ahead on the nuclear front. We’ve upgraded our nuclear.”
Everyone knows upgraded nuclear is the best kind of nuclear.
13. “When reports come out that certain countries don’t really like me too much, that’s not because of my personality, although it could be that also, frankly.”
[nods head slowly]
14. “And Biden doesn’t have a clue. He — you know he doesn’t have a clue. Everybody knows he doesn’t have a clue. In prime time, he wasn’t good, and now it’s not prime time.”
Wait, this is not “prime time?” When was “prime time?” Did I somehow miss it and not even know?
15. “His son, Where’s Hunter? — Where’s Hunter? I call him ‘Where’s Hunter?’ — walked away with one and a half billion dollars to manage, even though he never did that before.”
16. “‘I won’t give them the billion dollars,’ he says. ‘I won’t give them unless they get rid of that prosecutor,’ and then, voila, they got rid of the prosecutor. And the press doesn’t even want to talk about it.”
17. “I’m not saying the military is in love with me. The soldiers are. The top people in the Pentagon probably aren’t because they want to do nothing but fight wars so that all of those wonderful companies that make the bombs and make the planes and make everything else stay happy.”
18. “We defeated 100% of the ISIS caliphate. 100%. When I was in, when I came in it was a mess. It was all over. They have it in a certain color, all ISIS. A year later I said, ‘Where is it?’ ‘It’s all gone, sir, because of you.’ It’s all gone because of my philosophy.”
19. “I talk about it cause today’s Labor Day. It’s a good time to talk about when we’re being ripped off by countries, but nobody’s even close to China.”
Proposed new Labor Day slogan: “A day to remember how we are being ripped off by other countries.” That could catch on!
20. “And Biden’s a stupid person. You know that. You’re not going to write it. You know that.”
OK, so, reporters should just write the words “Biden is a stupid person?” Like, that doesn’t feel like what journalists do?
21. “If Biden wins, China wins, because China will own this country.”
Again, how did I not know about this? Seems relevant!
22. “You’re going to have to take that off, please. Just — you can take it off. You’re — you’re — how — how many feet are you away? Well, if you don’t take it off, you’re very muffled. So if you would take it off it would be a lot easier … “
In which Donald Trump tells a reporter (Jeff Mason of Reuters) to take off his mask while asking a question. Sure! Nothing to see here!
23. “John McCain liked wars. I will be a better warrior than anybody, but when we fight a war, we’re going to win them.”
24. “But I wasn’t a fan, but I respect people and I respect a lot of people.”
So, Trump wasn’t a McCain fan. But he respects people. In fact, he respects ‘”a lot” of people.
25. “Who would say a thing like that? Only an animal would say a thing like that. There’s nobody that has more respect for not only our military, but the people that gave their lives in the military — there’s nobody — and I think John Kelly knows that. I think he would know that, I think he knows that from me.”
26. ” I understand helicopters very well.”
27. “I’ve done very well with deals, OK? That’s what I do.”
28. “They spied on my campaign, and if they were Democrats, they would have been in jail two years ago. They would have been in jail — literally, if this side were the Democrats, they would have been in jail two years ago for 50-year terms for treason and other things.”
29. “They spied on my campaign, and that includes Biden and Obama. They spied on my campaign trying to defeat me.”
30. “But let me just — let me just tell you something: President Obama and Biden — Sleepy Joe — he knew everything that was happening. They were spying on my campaign, and they got caught. Now let’s see what happens.”
31. “And the dirtiest fight of all is the issuance of 80 million ballots, unrequested. They’re not requested. They’re just sending 80 million ballots all over the country — 80 million, non-requested. I call them unsolicited ballots. That’s going to be the dirtiest fight of all.”
32. “And if you look at the last period of six months, take a look at the races where they’ve sent ballots out, take a look at Carolyn Maloney, whose race should be redone because she won that race totally unfairly to her opponent.”
33. “They’ve been looking at me for four years. They found nothing. Four years, think of it. For four years. From the day I came down the escalator I’ve been under investigation by sleaze, and they found nothing. They found nothing. “
34. “So we’re going to have this — a vaccine very soon, maybe even before a very special date. You know what date I’m talking about.”
Trump, who has blasted Democrats for making the vaccine political, just comes right out and says he wants to have the vaccine before election day. OK.
35. “But you have to look at [Kamala Harris] a little bit more closely, because obviously Joe’s not doing too well, so you’re going to have to look at her a little bit too closely.”
There’s zero evidence that “Joe’s not doing well.”
36. “We have to have — if we get the vaccine early, that’s a great thing, whether it’s politics or not. Now, do benefits inure if you’re able to get something years ahead of schedule? I — I guess maybe they do. But the most important thing to me is saving lives. It’s the most important thing.”
37. “I want to thank you all, and I just want to wish you a very happy Labor Day. And we’re having tremendous success, whether it’s on the vaccines, whether it’s on the pandemic — the — the plague that came in from China that China should’ve never let happen, cause I will never feel the same about China.”
Yeah, this feels like a good place to end.